Pregnant in China

Being pregnant in China has been much harder than I imagined mostly because I have been so sick.  Food has been quite a battle.  While I know I need to eat healthy for the sake of the baby, there is only a small selection of foods my stomach wants to eat (bread, crackers, potatoes, fruit, salty snacks, and most any food from America that I cannot get here).  Some Western foods I can prepare myself, but that requires more energy and effort than I have been able to muster most days.  Chip did make me some pretty incredible fried mozzarella cheese sticks one day when I just could not get them off my mind.  We bought cheese at the import store, and he googled how to bread and fry them. At the time, it was seriously the best thing I had ever eaten.  Oh, what I would do right now for an authentic Mexican meal or lunch at Panera Bread!  I am still hoping my stomach will start craving Chinese food again.  In the meantime, I feel like I am failing miserably to eat as healthily and responsibly as I know I should.

And a bathtub!  So many times lately when I have felt sick I have longed to soak in a bathtub.  Somehow a shower is just not the same.  I am hoping for a bathtub in our Thailand hotel room next February when we attend our annual conference.

I have also been up most nights due to sickness.  But then, that's not China's fault.  If I were pregnant in America, I would probably be just as sick and tired.  A praise:  The Father has given me the strength I need to keep up with Chinese studies in spite of all the hardship.

Chinese people have all sorts of recommendations for 孕妇 (pregnant women). I have been compiling a list as people give me advice.  Here's what I have so far:

Chinese Pregnancy Recommendations

• ·         Don’t wear make-up (it might harm the baby)
• ·         Don’t exercise
• ·         Don’t walk too quickly
• ·         Wear more clothes
• ·         Eat lots of dates (to increase your blood)
•       Eat grapes--It will make your baby's eyes bigger
• ·         Eat walnuts to strengthen baby’s brain (because walnuts look like brains)
• ·         Eat lots of fruit (but never two bananas in one day)
• ·         No love-making in the 1^st or 3^rd trimesters
• ·         Avoid stairs (something completely unavoidable in this country especially since we live on the 6^th floor of a complex with no elevator)

I have learned to smile and accept all the advice given to me knowing that people tell me these things because they truly care about me and the baby.

Baby Gender?

            I went to get a massage a few days ago, something that in China costs about 6USD an hour.  I told the workers I was pregnant so that they would be more cautious during the massage.  They asked how far along I was in my pregnancy.  I said 14weeks, and they responded, “Oh, 98 days.”  Are we counting this pregnancy in days, I wondered.  After the massage some of the women asked if they could look at and feel my stomach to determine the gender.  In Chinese, I asked about the accuracy of their method.  They said it is accurate for Chinese people, but they were not sure how it would work on a foreigner.  After a brief observation, they said the baby is definitely a girl due to how I am carrying it and the fact that I am much prettier now than the last time I had come in.

            Actually, in China it is illegal to medically find out your baby’s gender because there is fear that if people know their only child is a girl, they may abort and try again for a boy.  Some doctor’s will tell mothers late in pregnancy (one of my tutors found out in the 8^th month) once the mother is too far along to abort.  Chip and I have not decided if we will find out our baby’s gender.  It seems perfectly reasonable within this culture just to wait.

Me and my awesome tutor.  This photo of us and the textbook is quite ironic because we spent most our time chatting about baby related subjects and rarely did bookwork.

 Last month I had a great tutor, TD.  She has a three year old son, so she knew all about pregnancy, childbirth, and taking care of a baby.  I asked TD so many questions!  She even helped me translate material from the hospital into simpler Chinese.  She said I was lucky she was my tutor because most tutors would not even know all of those medical terms.  She gave me two of her old maternity sweaters when she noticed my clothes were getting a bit uncomfortable.  And for Chinese maternity clothes, they really aren't half bad (no bright overalls, cartoon characters, etc.).  TD also gave me healthy snacks including these sheep liver sweets.  I have read that liver is good for expecting mothers and my tutor knew that I was trying to eat some meat since being pregnant, but I really would not have eaten this liver if she had not been right next to me watching for my reaction.  It really wasn't too bad--no icky liver flavor--strangely fruity.

Me and my sheep liver snacks

One day last month Chip's tutor looked at me and in Chinese said, "You don't really look pregnant.  You just look fat."  I snapped back quickly responding that was an impolite thing to say.  She's was my first ever tutor and we have a good relationship, so I did not feel too bad letting her know I was offended (even if what she said is completely true at this stage in the pregnancy).  I shared the story later with another Chinese friend.  She was surprised by my reaction because she thought what the tutor said was very polite.  Turns out, in Chinese culture, women would rather be considered fat than look pregnant.  From my Western perspective, that is not at all the way I feel.  I want people to know that the extra weight is a baby and not just chub.

Pigs, Snakes, and Horses

           On my first day with my current tutor, I was asking questions to get to know her.  She’s been married three years, does not have children, but hopes to have a child someday.  She said they would try to have a child now, but then it would likely be a snake.  I said, “Yeah, I know a lot of Chinese people really don’t like snakes” in a tone acknowledging my baby’s reality.  She said, “Oh, it’s not a big deal for you, my problem is I’m a pig and pigs and snakes don’t get along.”  I shrugged.  “Well, I’m a pig, too.”  In quick and apologetic response she said, “Well, it probably doesn’t matter in your culture.”  I assured her that it really does not.  I have no fear of not being able to get along with my child because of the year in which he/she is be born.  She said the following year is the year of the horse and that horses and pigs get along very well, so they hope to have a baby then.  Turns out dragons and dogs do not get along either, so for Chip’s sake, it’s a good thing we did not have a baby this year!

Stay tuned for more stories about being pregnant in China. . .